Pop Will Eat Itself - Entry #001

Have you heard that Lorde song called "Royals"? You can never UNhear it...

The Rise of Sir Fix-a-Lot

Last week I fixed a cassette tape, something that I'm sure 80% of the people I know would call a complete waste of time, but I did it anyway because that's what I do - I obsess and then I try to fix. I once replaced the battery in my old iPod Mini, so my lust for control over inanimate objects is always in need of quenching.

Here's what happened: I had an old cassette tape that was playing like crap. The pressure pad (look it up, it's exactly what it sounds like) had come loose, so I glued it back on. Mission accomplished? Nope. Tape still played like crap. Did some research on the internet. Bought a Maxell 60 minute blank tape (made it sure was the kind that's held together with tiny little screws). Cracked open the defective cassette and swapped out my tape with the one in the blank tape. Screwed it back together. Tape plays fine again. Ego swells. The end.

Last week I fixed a cassette tape.

What the fuck is my life coming to?

Update: I also recently engaged in some impromptu tape splicing after an Alice In Chains cassette (Dirt, if you're wondering) was loose and came completely off the reels. Yes, I could've downloaded the entire cd off of iTunes in the time it took me to fix, but I'm stubborn, so there.

Horns O'Plenty

When attending a metal concert, whether it's in a stadium or the filthiest rapehole of a club, there is no finer way to show one's approval of a band's performance than to "throw the horns", or as some may refer to it, "making that stupid devil sign with your hands that you keep trying to teach your nephew".

(Note: It should be said that another effective way to let a band know that they're heavy, brutal, true, or "trve", as the kids say, is to also yell out the band's name in the most guttural fashion possible, especially if the band is Slayer... or even if they're not Slayer, since I believe most bands secretly WANT to be Slayer.)

Below are some of the "horns" I've seen "thrown" and I have been known to "throw" them from time-to-time, along with using gratuitous quotation marks...

First up, the "DIO" - Whether you're summoning long-dead spirits, hovering over a glowing orb or defending yourself against the fiercest of dragons, this hand sign will tell everyone near and far "My uncle has an awesome record collection":


Next, the "Metallica Parking Lot" - Your friends ditched you while riding the train in from the 'burbs and you don't actually have tickets for the show, but you're drunk as fuck and you're gonna make the best of it:


The "Bro Metal" - You can spot this particular sign by the way it points TOWARDS the band at a slightly lazy angle. The first time this was seen was at a Pantera show after the release of their breakthrough "Cowboys From Hell" album and has since appeared at any concert where the consumption of beer is only equal to the amount of pot smoked in the venue's back alley:


...and finally, the "Beer Cozy" - Looking much like the "Bro Metal", this one has been used quite often by yours truly and serves as an efficient way to tell your favorite band "I like you AND I like beer".

Druidic Insult Machine

When I got home from working at the animation studio today, there was a small plastic bag waiting for me, courtesy of my friend Steve. When I emptied the bag, this is what was inside:


Several small, smooth stones... Painstakingly chosen and handpainted by Steve himself. He also included this note:


"Druidic Insult Machine

1) Choose two stones.
2) Join them in such a fashion as to create a sentence or rejoinder.
4) Have at it."

(Yes, he completely did away with Step 3.)

Each stone has been painted on both sides with various swear words and phrases. To illustrate, you can take this stone:


...and join it with this stone:


As you can see, these stones can provide several hours of entertainment and alienation possibilities. Thank you, Steve! Next time, I'll show off another creation of his known as the "Dress Kevy Metal Experience".

Cellphone Sketches

Here's a "Leprechorn"...



...and here's a shark on a Segway.

Robot Boobs

Here's one of my current projects - A birthday card idea for a friend.

Rough Version:



Cleaned-up Version:

Screw You and Your Pointy Shoes

Wedding Zombies

Spiky Critter

He's so proud of his penis. If he only knew which one it was.

Once more for the Fibber File

Here's Brian, Fibber's Sound Techie.