Saturday, March 24, 2012

Horns O'Plenty

When attending a metal concert, whether it's in a stadium or the filthiest rapehole of a club, there is no finer way to show one's approval of a band's performance than to "throw the horns", or as some may refer to it, "making that stupid devil sign with your hands that you keep trying to teach your nephew".

(Note: It should be said that another effective way to let a band know that they're heavy, brutal, true, or "trve", as the kids say, is to also yell out the band's name in the most guttural fashion possible, especially if the band is Slayer... or even if they're not Slayer, since I believe most bands secretly WANT to be Slayer.)

Below are some of the "horns" I've seen "thrown" and I have been known to "throw" them from time-to-time, along with using gratuitous quotation marks...

First up, the "DIO" - Whether you're summoning long-dead spirits, hovering over a glowing orb or defending yourself against the fiercest of dragons, this hand sign will tell everyone near and far "My uncle has an awesome record collection":

Next, the "Metallica Parking Lot" - Your friends ditched you while riding the train in from the 'burbs and you don't actually have tickets for the show, but you're drunk as fuck and you're gonna make the best of it:

The "Bro Metal" - You can spot this particular sign by the way it points TOWARDS the band at a slightly lazy angle. The first time this was seen was at a Pantera show after the release of their breakthrough "Cowboys From Hell" album and has since appeared at any concert where the consumption of beer is only equal to the amount of pot smoked in the venue's back alley:

...and finally, the "Beer Cozy" - Looking much like the "Bro Metal", this one has been used quite often by yours truly and serves as an efficient way to tell your favorite band "I like you AND I like beer".

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